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The truth about The Hoff

And here's one from a definite Hoff Hater... :)

http://www.esquilax.com/baywatch/index.shtml

I-Love-The-Hoff-and-so-do-you Admit it dammit!!!

An email from an avid fan! :)

-----Original Message-----
From: *removed*
Sent: 31 May 2005 09:18
Subject: I-Love-The-Hoff-and-so-do-you Admit it dammit!!!

It's soooo wrong how David Hasselhof is being defiled and ridiculed. I
remember as a youngster that I was obsessed with Kit. That was the most
beautiful car in the world. It spoke, it flew over things, and who can
forget Michael Knight's words that we used to wait for every time it
flighted.... "turrrrbo booost!" - and Kit took to the sky like a bird,
flying over whatever obstructed his way. How we used to get upset with
Michael when he hurt Kit's feelings. How Kit was as loyal as a dog to
Michael. I mean many of the 1970's generation were glued to their TV
sets every Thursday night at 19h00 to watch Knight Rider!

Who remembers that Kit had an ejection button so that Michael could at
the press of a button get rid of an irritating passenger. How our
fathers particularly loved tat little function, secretly dreaming of
having the same mechanism in his car...

So, all I have to say is that we should stop mocking the Hoff. It's like
making a mockery of the things you enjoyed as a child. I am going to
start my own website www.i-love-the-hoff-and-so-do-you.com.

Knight Rider

[Opening narration] Narrator:
Knight Rider, a shadowy flight into the dangerous world of a man who does not exist. Michael Knight, a young loner on a crusade to champion the cause of the innocent, the powerless, the helpless in a world of criminals who operate above the law.

The meaning of "Hoff"

1. Hoff
Verb, pertaining to David Hasselhoff.
To be Hoffed – to be sent homoerotic images of David Hasselhoff in questionable outfits/poses with various props/animals. Considered an extreme insult, the most common form of Hoffing is done through electronic mail although various new and inventive methods have recently been discovered. The first ever hoffing is said to have taken place in 1997 in the town of Heidelberg in Germany where David Hasselhoff is an extremely popular singer. According to urban legend, a young male high school student sent the David Hasselhoff calendar (if you have never seen this consider yourself lucky) to a girl he had a crush on in an attempt to woo her. The attempt backfired when the horrified girl choked on a chicken sandwich which she was eating whilst opening the calendar. The act of Hoffing has since spread from smalltown Germany to the mainstream claiming thousands of victims. Although not usually resulting in loss of life, a Hoffing can lead to severe psychological trauma, temporary loss of motor function and 9 times out of 10 it will affect the Hoffee’s up-chuck mechanism.

Oh, sweet mother of Jesus, FUCKK!!!!! I’ve been Hoffed again! I’ll never open my email again.

That guy is such a butt-fucking loser! I’m gonna send him a Hoffing he will never forget!

Source: Ana, Jan 11, 2005


2. Hoff
noun, pertaining to David Hasselhoff
Common usage "The Hoff", implying that he is the original Hoff to which all other usages are derived.Not contrained by his hit TV shows "Nightrider" and "Baywatch" or an obvious lack of acting, singing and modelling talent, The Hoff has become a post 80's email hit. Clearly the act of "Hoffing" (see further definitions of hoff) has escalated in recent times. The quick and efficient medium of email has made this crime against humanity too easy and the Victims of Hoff & Hoff Related Emails Crime Unit (VOHHRECU) has seen a dramatic rise in Hoff related violence, psychosis, and even suicide. Hoff related emails have also been on the increase. The Hoff's arch nemesis McGyver has started an emailing war, apparently enraged at The Hoff's born-again stardom. Other 80's B-grade celebrities also involved in the "coalition of The Hoff" in this war include Magnum P.I., Mr T, William Shatner and even the enigmatic Ingelbert Humperdink.The whole concept of The Hoff is currently subject to parlimentary review and legislation is being considered to curb the disturbing trend of Hoffing.

In loser speak: "The Hoff is cool"

In teenage girl loser denial: "I love The Hoff and when I grow up, I'm going to marry him!"

In general terms: "Man, The Hoff is such a fag"

In Hoff related violent state: "Stop f*cking sending me f*cking Hoff emails. If you do it again I'm gonna cut rip your eyes out so I can make you watch as an overweight albino mountain gorilla soddomise your mum's still warm and twitching corpse!!!"

Source: Roger Ramsalot, Apr 19, 2005

(thanks to www.urbandictionary.com for these definitions)